“First Meeting with Gurudev and First Impression.” Srila B. N. Acharya Maharaj. 10 April 2013
Śrīla Bhakti Nirmal Āchārya Mahārāj
First Meeting with Gurudev and First Impression
(10 of April, 2013)
You know that song?
baḍa duḥkha pāiyāchhi svatantra jīvane
saba duḥkha dure gelo, o pada varaṇe
(Śaraṇāgati)
When you take shelter of Guru-Vaiṣṇav, then your independence gone, understand? Your independence gone. So many lives we got independence and so many unhappiness, so many sadness we got it.
Bhakti Vinod Ṭhākur wrote that, baḍa duḥkha pāiyāchhi svatantra jīvane, “When I was independent in my life, previous life or this life, too much sadness I got, but now all sadness gone when I surrender to my Guru.” Understand?
You have to control your mind. You have to tell your mind, “I heard, I listened you so many times, so many lives, now I will not listen you again, I will listen from the order of above, somebody is giving me order from the above.”
When I joined this temple, night time, whole night I cannot sleep, you know. Little bit sleep coming and somebody is calling me, “Govinda Mahārāj is alone, you take care of him, he is alone.”
Searching, searching, who is Govinda Mahārāj? Who is this? I do not know before, some kind of akash vāṇī. Sky vāṇī is coming to me always, some sound is coming. I do not know, from morning that day, was Sunday. Sunday is my teaching holiday, after that some students coming, I told, “Hey, go. Today I will not give class.” And I take my toothbrush, I never toothbrush in the outside and that day I took my toothbrush and I take my toothbrush, my drowses and sleeping clothe, punjabi and pajama, long clothes, and took the toothbrush and from there walking … that village and walking and bridge I am thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking, “What sound I got? Who is that news? Who is Govinda Mahārāj? Who is that?” Understand?
Then I came see the dome, the temple, and I came here, this gate was not opening always, that … gate, when car is coming like that, sometimes tractor going, coming like this. All is the mud, no road, all in temple inside of the mud, all of mud, no bricks nothing. Then I am sitting there, that is bookshop, there is no bookshop there I made later.
I am sitting, and thinking, thinking, thinking, one hour sitting, immediately one brahmachārī is going, one brahmachārī told, “Who are you?”
“I am leaving nearby but I am coming from Kolkata, near Kolkata, that is my relatives house but I am leaving some nearby here.”
“What are you doing job?”
“Doing …?”
And he left. He left, and after that he came and another brahmachārī, old brahmachārī, he came with the manager of the temple, he came to me, and he is hiding there because somebody is fishing in the Govinda Kuṇḍa, taking the fish and he is catching the man, he is hiding and one time he catches the boy and the boy is folding hands, “Please give my hook”. Like this, that time all banana tree, people are going to jump, passing stool in Govinda Kuṇḍa, understand?
And he is hiding one corner, and boy is fishing and he catches that boy, he catches that boy and he came to me, then I think, “Oh, too much chastising that boy.”
“Oh, Prabhu I will not make more offense anymore.”
Like this telling and then after that, three-four days [I think he wanted to say hours] afternoon time that brahmachārī again came, “You are still sitting there.” Three o’clock he came again, that brahmachārī came back, some service he went after that then I know he went to Hapaniya, I do not know Hapaniya, I never heard about Hapaniya, then immediately he came, “Oh, Prabhu, you did not take prasādam.”
“No, can get some food here?” I am very hungry that time, early in the morning empty stomach came and three o’clock not eating anything. And then…
[garland, jays, joking about ‘Paramahaṁsa’]
“Here I get some food here?” Then I do not know what is prasād, and what is food? “Here I get some food here?”
“Yes, yes, can come.”
At that time he take that, now our store, that is prasādam is there, and he gave, one prasādam save for him, and he is give one plate to me, prasādam plate and he gave half to me.
“Prabhu, it is too less for you.”
“No, no, no, no, no, today one day no problem.”
“Prabhu, it is too less for you, only one plate save for you.”
And, “No, no, no, okay one day, half, half, take.”
And in front of me, I am sitting there take some food. Then he is showing temple, this temple. That time not so many houses, gośālā is there, not so many things is there, he is showing something, “It is our temple, this is Guru Mahārāj’s samādhi, understand.”
Then, “Gurudev is now out of India,” telling that. After that, he take me to the manager, old brahmachārī, “There is man, he wants to stay in the temple, if you can keep him.”
He told, “It is very educated man, but how he will stay in the temple?”
“If he can tolerate everything, can.”
Then he gave one dhoti, and he told, “Take to the Dāmodar Mahārāj, he is the guest house in charge.”
Gave one room, that is only mattress that is coconut trees, three, four years I not getting the bed sheet and pillow, three, four years I did not get bed sheet. But I not ask.
After three, four days, only one Western devotee is there that time, and he is chastising me, he told, “What for you came here?”
“I do not know.”
“Why you are here, you do not know?”
“I want to serve some, I want to stay in the temple.”
That brahmachārī told me, “You can stay in this, what we are doing, you can do also same thing. Here who is the Guru?”
“I do not know.”
“Why you are here? You do not know the Guru’s name here?”
“Okay Prabhu, I do not know, tell me the Guru’s name.”
He told the Gurudev’s name.
Then I am remembering, “Oh, that is his Gurudev’s name, I heard some message from the sky, he is calling me, somebody sending to me.”
“That is your spiritual master, where is he?”
Then I am working, what there are telling I am doing, vegetable cutting, prasādam distribution I am doing, and I am waiting for that man will come, I am waiting for that. Understand.
In this way, after few days he came, not so many days, few days he came.
Then I went everybody paying dandabat and I am also paying dandabat, somebody told, “There is a new boy.”
Looking me.
And, I am sitting. He will be giving class and I am behind always and hearing the class, I am not asking any question.
Sometimes he is asking me, “What service you are doing?”
I told, “That temple manager, that brahmachārī he takes me on the crops field, from that day he is sending me to the crops field.”
“Okay, good. Now you are going alone there?”
“Yes, I am going alone there.”
“You know land, our land?”
“Yes, I know our land, after one day he is not going again, I am alone going there, I know our land.”
“You know our land?”
“Yes.”
“Tell the village name.”
“… July.”
He is very happy, asking me question, “What is the land our village name?”
“Nṛsimhajuly? another land is Bonocopu.”
“Who is living there, servitor, what is his name?”
“Kesto.”
He is very happy. Understand. Then, one day he gave first initiation, that day I got another dhoti, until one dhoti I am wearing, one month, one dhoti I am wearing, in the room when it was noon time resting, that is drying room that drowses? I am wearing and after one dhoti I got.
Always dreaming, I am writing in the blackboard, teacher, problem is coming, always problem and students thinking for me, maybe I am thinking that. Sometimes I see the key, my room key, “Oh, my room has so many almirah, fan, my television, my many things, my …, my suitcase, then I one day I throw the key in the Govinda Kuṇḍa, then I did not see and then cannot remember so many things. Then one time after initiation I got the dhoti and I throw that …? And clothes, I am thinking my …? and panjabi and I am remembering that my previous house, “Okay, I will burn.”
I bring someone candle, somebody bringing the candle, if I ask the …? They will think that maybe he is smoking, but I never smoke in my life. I bring one candle because they will think maybe that boy is smoking, firebox I did not ask anybody, I bring one candle, sometimes no electricity, candle have and with the candle I burned that dhoti and panjabi. Understand? In this way little, little illusory environment I removed and hearing every Hari-kathā, morning class, evening class, afternoon time sitting there. But Chaitanya-bhāgavat class I am very nice, Chaitanya-charitāmṛta I am hearing properly, Hari Charan Prabhu giving both classes, morning and evening, I am hearing both classes. Bhāgavat class is giving Dāmodar Mahārāj, somebody, old man, that I cannot understand. Cannot understand, very hard for me.
And when first time Gurudev came, “You want to stay in the temple?”
“Yes.”
And, “Whom you will worship, Gaura or Kṛṣṇa?”
I am suspicious what I will tell, I know both of Them, Gaura and Kṛṣṇa, “I do Gaura.”
“Yes, right answer.”
“You will worship Gaura or Kṛṣṇa? You like Kṛṣṇa-līlā or Gaura-līlā?”
“I like Gaura-līlā.”
“Good.”
So many things, understand.
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